I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO AND I WANT TEE PEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!

Jermaine Dye reprises the Casey Affleck role in "Gerry"; much like that film, no one is paying money to see the White Sox either.

Jermaine solicits baserunning advice from the f***k lion that lives in his drawers

I got the wrong Schindler's list.

I ain't found shit!

"Man, we ain't seen shit!"

Thanks More Credible....that's what I was looking for.

How many assholes are on this ship?

Jermaine Dye has decided if he can't see you, you can't see how bad the White Sox are. So there.

Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!?

Welcome to the planet Dune not off with your head.

How to sound not racist here...

It looks like his Jersey is taking a shit.

ET, phone home.

Maybe I shouldn't have smoked up before reading my contract extension. I thought I was signing for a batch of brownies.

"I figure the soybeans and alfala will have sprouted by the time I hit my next home run"

Not even the power of the Schwartz helped Jermaine Dye find Yogurt in the desert

only other combing the desert movie i could think of

If his head keeps descending through his clothes and gets to his pants, we may as well call him Barf, because he'll be his own best friend

Dye: Are We Being Too Literal?
Ozzie: No you fool, we're following orders...we've been told to comb the desert, so we're combing it!"

This makes absolutely no sense but I don't care.

"I've built monorails in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook and by gum, it put them on the map."

As Jermaine Dye strolled through the desert, trying to hide his face from the brutal mid-day sun, he couldn't help but chuckle - it was almost the perfect metaphor for hiding from the shame of a season resulting in a finish in the desert that is the cellar of the AL East.

"Don't you think we're being too literal?"

"WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!"

"Damn...Jim Morrison said this would work!"

Prepare Jermaine Dye for Ludicrous Speed!

Jermaine of Arabia

Dye: What is this?
Ozzie: This is now. What you are seeing now happens now.
Dye: What happened to then?
Ozzie: We missed it.
Dye: When?
Ozzie: Just now.
Dye: When will then be now?
Ozzie: SOON!

And AA, this is possibly my favorite movie of all time, so thanks for this one.

Yeah, seriously. Anything that brings up SpaceBalls is worthy of mighty praise.

And that scene in particular is outrageous.

uhh... no problem but thanks for what?

And my submission:

"Balls, Egypt is fucking hot. And why's this sand raked? And where's my damn oasis?"

Oh no. I think that something went wrong and now I own a blind camel. A blind camel!

I never knew Detroit was so dry...

Barry Bonds struggles mightily to fit his giant head through his Jermaine Dye Halloween costume.

These aren't the Dyes you're looking for.

(Spaceballs had to get its inspiration somewhere!)

Hilarious.....all of you.

Though he found a quarter, some earrings, and Josh Fields, Jermaine Dye's search for weapons of mass destruction ultimately proved fruitless.

Well, I guess this beats where Dye's head has been most of the season.