David Beckham attempts to set a new personal record by going 16 consecutive seconds without sustaining an injury.

"See See London is totally interesting!"

Seconds later, Beckham flopped, but it was the cellist who was given a red card.

Associated Press: David Beckham suffered a career threatening knee injury as he kicked full force at what he thought was a soccer ball, only to find out that it was actually CGI'd in front of him.

The city of London scrambled to get a well-known and talented soccer star, but had to settle for David Beckham in the closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics.

black guy: why is she staring at him hes just kicking a ball im playing the cello for crying out loud.

Not Shown: Victoria Beckham at the bottom once again ready to catch David's balls.

Exactly why are you here again?

Arena Football, here I come. Feel the power!

Suddenly, David Beckham woke up in midget redneck techno hell.

The Devil Went Down to London. In Theaters Soon!

In addition to Beckham you will see stars like Celine Dion, NBC's own Tracy Morgan and the fat guy from Lost. Not just TV, it's Must See TV only on NBC in 2012

Todd Bridges (on the cello): And the world don't move !!!!

Hi-yaah!!

Be excellent to each other.

Landon Donovan would have been there too, but he felt homesick after 30 seconds and went crying home to California.

Beckham: I bring soccer to America and get stuck doing this?

Indian Girl on her knees: Service Like Beckham

For the first time in over a year, David Beckham kicks a soccer ball during an even that is televised and/or vaguely cared about.

Millions of Americans asked, "What kid of ball is THAT?!"

Beckham agrees to participate in closing ceremonies in hopes that Margaret Thatcher would show up and give him a celebratory ass squeeze.

Now this is how you orchestrate an offense!

The MLS, in a desperate ploy for attention, changes the dimensions of their fields.

Little Girl: Man, what a nice butt!
Dude on Bass: Man, what a nice butt!
Fiddler Girl: Can somebody please move this fake freakin' fiddle so I can get a look at this dude's butt?

David Beckham: Mind(less) Freak

"Forget the MLS. I'm going to play for Germany!"

"This is still more competitive than the bloody MLS!"

Step right up see a Bo-NE-fide english soccer player. Step right up only 10 cents for the kids

At the close of the Olympics, David Beckham introduces Wii's next generation video game, "Soccer Rock Band Hero"

In an effort to keep up with the past their prime stars, London has already announced that it will be Shaquille O'Neal shooting foul shots while The Spice Girls sing at the closing ceremonies in 2012.