LeBron stinks as an analyst.

http://globalhawkeyenation.blogspot.com

Not a quote but what about the fact that I can't see Texas/OSU today because ABC is showing V Tech FSU!!!! I imagine large parts of the country can't see the here-to-fore best game of the year! ABC has the rights to too many games and can't show them all. I can watch Kansas St. OU but not OSU Texas? So horrible. (I have direct tv with full sports package and cant get the game)

It would have been great if LeBron picked Penn State over OSU. He already picked against the Browns and Indians for more popular teams over the past year.

"You need a need a short term memory and a resume at the ready"- Rob Stone talking about Big 12 defensive coordinators

"He's dialing up diamonds right now" - Doc Walker on the BC offensive coordinator, BC took the opening drive for a FG

"Perfect no hitters" - Doc Walker on the lack of blocking by BC's WRs on a QB bootleg

Technically Ohio State has a larger fanbase, so he did pick the team that benefits him the most

Ron Dayne looks like a homeless man.

who won the week 8 pammy?

"they needed this like a duck needs water." - Doc Walker after UNC completes third down pass for first dow. UNC trails 10-0.

Andre Ware, after being asked a question, "You're asking me to remember what happened last week. I can't remember what's going on right now."

Pam Ward, going into commercial - "The Badgers with the lead." Um, Illinois is up 7-3

anon, I know the Buckeyes have a larger fanbase and it would benefit him to align himself with them. I was thinking of more pissing off the Ohio sports fans if he chose Penn State like when he picked the Yanks and cowboys when they played his hometown teams. But actually, it would have been better if he professed he is a huge Notre Dame football fan.

"He's deprived of the crowd noise" - Doc Walker on a UNC WR wating for video review of a TD catch.

"He had too many Wheaties for breakfast" - Doc Walker on a high snap by BC's center

Whomever is the clown doing color on the NW-Indiana game.

"If I'm Pat Fitzgerald, I take the points."

This is after Indiana got called for leaping on the made NW field goal.

The penalty result is half the distance to the goal and an automatic first down. And this idiot wanted to keep the FG.

Let's try this interaction between ray and pam....

Pam: Our AFLAC trivia question, who is the second youngest head coach in FBS?

Ray: Let me look in my crystal ball

Pat: And that's the answer...Mario Cristoball

......

JUST AWFUL

"He's tough to bring down at 214 yds" - Dave Pasch on TX Tech WR Michael Crabtree

Who won week 8? Results?

"That didn't take any time at all, to rule that it was a completed pass." Pam Ward, after the referee announced that the ruling was being challenged, and was on his way to the review booth.

Can't tell you who won week 8, I've got no access to the votes. AA might have forgotten last week's winner post.

"That is definately college football right there." Andre Ware as the camera man zooms in under a cheerleader who is being held in the air.

most of these are pretty funny, but Pam's are just sad? how did she get this job???

"They've got blankets and comforters out there" - Doc Walker on the coverage of UNC's DB's

Charissa Thompson has gone blonde again on BTN. Can't she make up her mind???

JG - is there anything we can do to get ESPN to give Doc a contract? This stuff is too good (bad?) to limit to regional.

But I like the AFL...

And wow, first time I ever really paid attention to these quotes, and it makes me wonder if announcing was always this odd, or if it is just a "rose colored glasses" sort of thing.

S2N

I dont know, but if that happens the name of this post might have to cahnge. Imagine pairing him with Pam Ward.

"We have to play better defense. We're not slowing them down."- Kansas coach Mangino to Rob Stone at halftime.

Captain Obvious has arrived

Dave Armstrong after a sack by Wake Forest LB Aaron Curry - "That's a big hit by Curry in the secondary!"

"that's a maintenance pass right there." - Kelly Stouffer after Nebraska completes a pass for first down

"Minnesota on the road at Ross-Aide Stadium. For the Boilermakers, it's been more like First Aid Stadium." - Rece Davis

He's said it about two or three times since noon, lol.

"43 yard run by Marve, now the Canes are in marvelous shape." Dave Armstrong

I know someone at the WWL favors field level shots of football plays, but this is at least the third kickoff at TX Tech - Kansas that they've done it. If any play should use the high top of the satdium shot, its a kickoff.

Please stop ESPN

I don't know anout anyone else but my HD feed from Kentucky-Florida has the stadium sound but no announcer audio. It is surprisingly refreshing.

Did Andre just say "Regis Benn?"

Quick stat from the OU-KSU game..Midway through the 2nd quarter, each team is averaging over 10 yards per play. OU just scored to go up 35-28. Again, there is still 6:26 left in the first half!

"Clint Bowen is playing dial a defense right now"- Andre Ware on KU's Def Coordinator, apparently he's calling wrong numbers

"This is against a top 20 team in #23 kansas."-Dave Pasch while talking about Graham Harrell's performance

Anon, yeah. Andre, for whatever reason, sticks to calling him Regis Benn rather than Arrelious Benn.

First I was like, this blog is awesome, it criticizes bad announcers. Then it went to pointing out one-line gaffes. Now it's just one-liner non-gaffe jokes. Booooring.

Ray Bentley: [Illinois hasn't] found that back with a hot hand, who can take it out the other end so far today.

Dave Lapham (after a punt return TD): The final miss was the punter. You know he's not going to allow the punter to miss him in space.

"I cant say what they really said because my kids are watching." - the sideline reporter at BC / UNC(Its usually Mike Hogewood, but it is not his voice). On the reaction of the BC coaching staff to an interception by their QB.

"He could be subpeonaed for that on the street." - Doc Walker on a hard but clean hit by a UNC DB. The player did a nice job of avoiding helmet to helmet contact.


"What are you gonna be for Halloween ?" - Doc Walker
"Myself I'll scare everyone" - Steve Martin

Michael Reghi, to color man Doug Chapman after an Ontario Sneed touchdown:

"You asked (Central Michigan HC) Butch Jones at halftime about simply lathering up the hot ball carrier"

It's Scott Pryzwansky for the BC-UNC game.

"This one is not over yet, boys and girls. It is a 3-point game." - Thom Brennaman, with Indiana up 21-19 on Northwestern

"Chris Crane looking for a friend on the sidelines" - Steve Martin on the BC QB after his third interception, which was run back for a TD



"He gets a triple cheeseburger for that one" - Doc Walker on a block by a UNC OL that leads to a TD run

"We're actually double-fisting on Kansas and Texas Tech over here." - more Rob Stone hanging out with KU fans

Sorry to rant here but why do kickers not kick a field goal when they are down 10 with 2-3 minutes left on 4th down? They need a FG anyway at some point and they just basically waste time trying to score a TD, time they could have had after getting an onsides kick.

Of course morons like Pam Ward fail to realize this and is insulting America with her dumb commentary.

"Who is this guy over here your husband or your boyfriend?" - Rob Stone
"Boyfriend." - Kansas girl
"So you're saying there's a chance?" - Stone

Ray Bentley with the award for biggest over-analysis ever...

Going crazy when Wisconsin takes a delay of game penalty with 6 seconds left up 10. He fails to realize even if Illinois has Usain Bolt on their team there is no possible way they could score twice in 6 seconds.

"time to put some clean uniforms in. Their motors will be running to get some stats" - Doc Walker on UNC substituting up 45-17 with 6 minutes left in 4th

"this is when 5-9 is a disadvantage. 6-5 blocks the sun out" - Doc Walker on the hieght difference between a UNC DB and BC WR.

"When you're up 63 my friend..."

- Andre Ware talking when the score is 63-21

What is up with ESPN's Scoreboard studio cameramen? They never ever zoom in on Wendi Nix, only on that other doofus sitting next to her. I don't get it.

Anon - I understand and sympathize.

Hey Four-Letter, we want to see close-ups of Wendi, not Jesse Palmer.

S2N

I originally bought GamePlan to keep track of MD since I supposedly moved out of ACC country. I didnt realize the goldmine it would be for this site.

So let me get this straight... ESPN won't let Herbstreit make a prediction on the OSU-PSU game because he is calling it later and might appear to be biased. Yet, they allow his four kids to run around in OSU jerseys on the set?

CBS finally got the right idea with Georgia @ LSU! No announcers at all so far the entire first quarter!!!!

S2N, right with you on the middle finger to ABC, I ended up with Mich-MichSt (ughh!). At least I get to see EA on the sidelines, albeit all bundled up.

"You can tell that's his happy face." - Brad Nessler

Ack! So not only do I not get Texas-OK State, but the debaclers of Nessler, Griese, and Maguire are calling it?

They just interviewed T. Boone Pickens on the Texas sideline, talking about how great it was for them to be in this situation.

announcer in NC State/Maryland game: "Andre Brown hits a stone wall there. It was mano against e mano in there"

A defensive struggle (by Big 12 standards): Nebraska beats Baylor 32-20.

Jim Knox, the sideline reporter on Oklahoma/Kansas State, just jumped over three Oklahoma cheerleaders in his suit, and he may have fell. Dave Lapham was comparing him to Nadia Comaneci.

Paul Maguire has Texas and Oklahoma St. eye blacks on the back of his head.

14-0 Texas.

"I didnt see a penalty" - Maguire after a pass interference on OK St
where the DB did not turn around to look for the ball. If he had looked there would be no penalty.


"He's 24 yrs old. Transferred from Harvard and a Mormon mission.It didnt take me three minutes to tell that story" - Lundquist on LSU QB Andew Hatch. Can we get a moratorium on this story for the rest of the year ?

"He's got arms down to his knees, and big hands." - Griese on OK St WR Dez Bryant

"And Oklahoma State is right back in the ball game" - Brad Nessler on OSU scoring a TD to make it 14-7. I may be the only one, but are really out of the game only down 14?

"The golden toe for the extra point" - Nessler on the OSU kicker who wears gold shoes.

"[Garth Brooks] has retired more than Muhammad Ali" - Brad Nessler on Garth Brooks
"As long as he keeps singing" - Bob Griese
"He'll sing once a year and everyone is happy" - Nessler

"There's a shot of Norm Chow's forehead."-David Norrie

"He's 20 out of 22, with one pass dropped. It's sometimes hard to do that playing catch on the backyard." - Brad Nessler

After they showed a stat of how McCoy has not thrown an INT at home this year, Nessler says "And he won't on this play either". That play was a running play.

"As he went to the huddle, he said I lost it in the sun. He made such a beautiful catch, though. I don't think he lost it in the sun." - Paul Maguire, who apparently knows more than the receiver who made the TD catch and would know if he lost it for a bit on the sun. And looking at the replay, you could tell he was struggling to find the ball in the sun.

"No more playing it safe! You got to go for it here" Gary Danielson (before a 3rd and 11)

Also, Rennie Curran "getting the full monty" on this play (when the HB ran through the middle).

FYI, the Texas receiver on my aforementioned play was Quan Cosby.

"Remember, the ground can cause an incompletion."
- Ed Cunningham, during a replay review of a completed pass.

No shit, really?

After Nessler talks about SMU with Craig James beating Teaxs back in the 80's, he says John, Doug and Craig coming up in 25 seconds.

"Nice timing there." - Griese in response, acting like it was a coincidence.

No I'm sure it was planned.

Gary Danielson the MORON who is with Vern Linquest on CBS.... GA 21 LSU 7 in the second quarter and the idiot says "Georgia will start playing CONSERVATIVE" ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Then LSU scores to make it 21... 17.. with 3 minutes left in the half. Now 24 17 and then he says "oh maybe Richt will go into the half without scoring." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Add Gary Danielson

LSU coach is such A bubba.

"He looks a little hot."-Terry Gannon referring to UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel

"(LSU quarterback) Lee has thrown two touchdowns...the first was returned for a touchdown on the very first play of the game."- Verne Lundquist

I think Ole Vern means he threw two interceptions

"A hush comes over the crowd in Tallahassee. " - Ron Franklin after VA Tech kicks a FG to go up 13-10, the crowd wasnt very loud to begin with

Me thinks ABC will be in trouble for not only playing "American Idiot" by Green Day, but they didn't censor the f-bomb dropped in the song.

"Oklahoma State has how many rush yards in the first half, 111 yards per carry?" -Doug Flutie

"Oklahoma State, winless." - John Saunders, who corrected himself after that.

"Neither wind rain or Mustangs can stop Navy" - Tom Hart at the start of 2nd half of SMU-Navy with it raining sideways and Navy leading 27-0.

"you gotta throw it to the guys who are single covered." - Maguire
DUH!

"Down goes Frazier!" as Brandon Minor pancake blocks a defensive end on a Michigan sweep. - Chris Spielman

"In Rod We Trust" - Sign in the Michigan stands.

Inanimate Carbon Rod > RichRod

"He Heisman'ed the umpire to get the extra yards!" Chris Spielman referring to Michigan quarterback Threet using a stiffarm on the Umpire on a draw play.

"McCoy has completed a career high 33 passes, and he's not done yet." - Brad Nessler in a 28-24 game with 11 minutes left. The fat that "he's not done yet" is kinda stating the obvious.

"This is the largest crowd to ever watch a football game in Texas. And they do everything big in Texas so that's saying a lot." - Brad Nessler

"Are those fans saying anything to you as you block their view of the game?" - Bob Griese
"No, they like it, they really like it. They love staring at the back of my head" - Paul Maguire

"Sometimes Colt McCoy does it himself in these situations." - Brad Nessler

"He was a general today" - TRev Alberts on Navy player Brian Dobbs who had 4 TDs and over 200 yds rushing.

Uh, Trev given the number of Navy games you cover, you should know theyre called admirals in the Navy.

"I dont know whos happier Mr or Mrs Stafford. If that keeps up there might a little Matthew coming." - Danielson after a shot showing them celebrating a good play by Georgia.

No comment on what he thought of Mrs Stafford.

This doesn't have anything to do with announcing, but more on the stupidity of Oklahoma State. Why on earth with three timeouts would you go for it on 4th down at their own 30? By failing, they have pretty much gave the game to Texas, whereas if they punted, they might have still had a chance.

That Danielson comment about Stafford's parents was very odd from an announcer on a major network.

"Mike Gundy's team needs a touchdown and their 99 yeards and four inches away from it" - Brad Nessler

anon 6:35

I think Daneilson has a thing about the moms of SEC QBs. He made a comment about John Parker Wilson mom a few weeks ago.

"Still number one by an eyelash" - Brad Nessler

"Look at all those empty seats. It's like a Kurt Gibson homerun." - Gary Danielson

Tim Brando says in his cut-in: "Zac Robinson looking for his all purpose receiver Dez Bryant downfield...it's knocked away and Texas survives..." while the viewer watches Zac Robinson throw a typical Hail Mary pass into a bunch of receivers and DBs(including, presumably, Dez Bryant)

John saunders just said Texas Tech - Texas will be Saturday night game.

And ESPN / ABC, you have a chance to show the end of another game, you go to Mich St-Mich a 14 pt game, but Va Tech - FSU is a seven point game ?

But there is no agenda in that decision.

Referee: "Rutgers has taken its final time out."
Tim Pernetti: "Oh shut up."

Gotta love the Rutgers radio network.

ESPN/ABC with an agenda.... never heard of such a thing.

Chris Carlin: "There's apparently a TV time-out."
Tim Pernetti: "How can there be a TV time-out with no TV?
Chris Carlin: "With 360 I guess" (ESPN360 is covering the game)
Tim Pernetti: "...That's not TV"

Seriously, Rutgers radio is where it's at. And RU just beat a top 25 team on the road for the first time in 20 years.

Chris Spielman, talking about Javon Ringer's parents (Dad is a pastor, Mom a black belt in karate) - "When that collection plate comes around, you better put some cash in!"

Also from Spielman, when the Spartans dumped Gatorade on Mark Dantonio - "That's blue Gatorade. Where's the green Gatorade!?!"

God, I miss the Mark Jones-Spielman pairing.

Anonymous said...
"In Rod We Trust" - Sign in the Michigan stands.
----------------------------
Rich Rod or Rod Marinelli?

Either way - FAIL

"This is why going for it on 4th Down is a terrible idea when you fail. You turn the ball over." -Doug Chapman during the Toledo-Central Michigan game

"A good race, speaking of good races, alot of great races took place at the breeders cup today."- Joel Meyers

"Who's happier, Mr. or Mrs. Stafford? One more play like that and there might be another little Mathew on the the way!" Gary Danielson or Lundequist after a big GA gain on a great Stafford pass.

@ S2N: He probably did say Kirk. I was trying to type fast before I forgot the quote and must have accidentally typed Kurt, seeing as I already forgot a few today.

Aspeaking of baseball, is there going to be some sort of live blog or open thread tonight, assuming the game is played (which it looks like it will with a delayed start time of 9:30)?

JFein - open thread for baseball coming up at 8:15 or so.

"I drove here from Kansas City and the colors were just spectacular " - Joel Meyers at Colorado / Missouri, obviously looking for something to talk about since Missouri leads 31-0 at the end of first half.

I know this is baseball, but Joe Buck just provided a good one. "I'm not smart enough to figure out what all the green stuff means" - Joe Buck on reading a radar map.

football saturday ruined brent didnt not say "you are looking live" look forward to that all week

After Rece Davis cut in and said the World Series was in a rain delay, all the ticker at the bottom for 5 minutes was the game is in a rain delay.

ESPN agenda alert !

"World Series still postponed by rain" - Matt Winer.

Notice the word choice....

"He had Norwood, in a hole, wide open." - Brent Musberger giving me a bad mental picture.

just wondering should the loser of Notre Dame - washington fire their coach on the spot ?

"Trying to wedge out a little running room" - Mike Patrick on run up the middle by Alabama

@jg 8:41:

You should've suggested that for the Michigan State-Michigan game.

Side note: Chocolat Dun-kers?
/Pizza Hut sucks.

"I say that's a good play by a shortstop. Does anyone want to disagree with me?" - Brent Musberger

If you're not watching the game, the ball shorthopped into the arms of the Ohio State receiver (I didn't catch who). And yes, Brent, I want to disagree with you because if that's doing the exact same thing in a baseball game, there's a chance that that's a base hit.

"He's not shooting a free-throw, folks" - Brent Musberger on Kevin Kelly's field goal attempt.

"Those boats in Lake Washington aren't sinking yet." - Mark Jones


Timely joke considering we just had a fishing boat from Seattle sink off the coast of Alaska, killing 4 people.

"They're breaking out the towels. That's normally a rally cry, but tonight, it's a helpful apparatus." - Jeanne Zelasko

From Colorado/ Missouri game:

"Daniel slides it in there like a surgeon" - Whoever was doing the analysis after Chase Daniel throws a TD pass.

"Daniel better get out of bounds" - Joel Meyers on a run by Daniel and two Colorado players coming for him Mizzou was up 48-0 at the time.

"You live in America. You go to college in Colorado. You have it better than 90% of the people in the world" - Sideline reporter Emily Jones quoting a speech by CU Dan Hawkins trying to give his players perspective.

CU played the role of homecoming opponent well losing 58-0

"Speaking of strong, they party strong in Tucson" Michael Eaves.

"I hate to see a coach who wins nearly 70% of his games lose his job" - Blackledge on Phil Fulmer

Condidering the coach Blackledge played for (Paterno) is getting a free pass for running a fine impression of the 1990's U of Miami outlaw program, not surprising.

"Alabama rolling over the Volunteers of Texas 22-3." --Wendi Nix

(I started typing "Longhorns of Texas" there.)

These balls are coming out in a few seconds!

-Brad Nessler

I didn't have a chance to get this one in earlier but here you go..."If Penn State can get in the endzone here, they'll take the lead."- My dad when Penn State was driving and the score was 0-0. Way to go Captain Obvious!

Being that football and WWE are my two passions in life, I have to wonder WTF is meant by saying that Texas Tech player was wearing "Mankind style facepaint?' Mankind/Cactus Jack/Mick Foley has never worn face paint in his career, so........yeah. Awesome reference......

@ Jason: I didn't see the game so I don't know, but possibly the way his paint looked on him resembled the Mankind mask. Agreed, that is a good reference. Very few people probably got it, but a good reference, nonetheless. It's been awhile, but I used to watch WWE, myself..

Emmitt Smith on Sunday Sportscenter on Tebow tying his Florida rushing TD record:

"He's done it in 4 years, I did it in only 3." (It's actually been 2.5 years for Tebow)